new adventures.

I am remembering to not take anything for granted. I am enjoying my life every single day, it is something I make a point to do. Even though I really don't have to try hard.
I think my high spirits are in connection with spring coming (slowly but surely). Being outside in the sun is what I have been missing for months and months.


The end of this semester is rapidly approaching. I had a full schedule of summer classes, but dropped them so I could work constantly instead. Why would I want to work my summer instead of educating myself on women in developing countries? because I am going to Burgos, Spain.
I can't believe it is actually happening. I am scared and excited all at the same time. It is going to be a life changing experience, I know, but I don't want to leave. I am scared to leave. Going outside my comfort zone is nothing I like to do. Especially in a country I have never been to, that I am not fluent in the language, and where the only people I will know are my classmates. And as much as I don't want to admit it, because deep down I am really scared of this happening, I don't want everybody here to forget about me.
August until December. August is close. really, really close. But I am going to learn everything I've never learned about myself before. I am going to learn about other cultures, people, ideals, which is something I love to do. I want to experience everything I can while I am there-- and I am going to. I am going to see the buildings and art that I have been studying since high school. I am going to stand places where Carlos III stood. I am going to see Greco and Velazquez paintings in person. I am going to live with a new family. I am going to explore a brand new town, fuck I am going to explore a brand new country, continent, world.
and the best part is that this will be my own experience. Nobody can take it away from me.




but I don't know what the hell I am going to do without these people.

I've said it once, and I will say it again..

when it rains it fucking pours.

The start of my week was writing a letter to a judge that isn't mine. Writing the whole thing just drained me, but I have nobody to talk to this about besides my parents. I have never been so frustrated and disappointed with a situation this badly. The court day is valentines day.
I don't know what the fuck he is going to do. This is one situation where I can't do anything to help, and I can't handle it.
Why is he the only one getting in trouble when it was definitely a two person deal? Why is he taking all the blame? P. can walk away with nothing, and J. is losing everything he has worked hard for. I just don't understand. He is going to jail to save him-- does he really mean that much? how can you help somebody who obviously has a problem? not by letting him get away with everything, that is for sure.

This weekend:
my front teeth got chipped. by a person who is ruining my life one situation after another.
my friends window got smashed.
my (other) friend got jumped by a moron whom he (after three months) is the only person who would talk to him.
I cried way to many times.










"We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated." - Maya Angelou